I invite you to seek the heart of God with me
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![BRINGING [EASTER] NEW LIFE](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/586487e7ebbd1ab7ab60020e/1583607484562-69MDF5KH3Z0N1CXZXH1X/IMG_4557.jpg)
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Perhaps it is not that you have disappointed our hopes, but that we have been hoping in the wrong thing. We have been hoping in a specific outcome, a specific change. We have been hoping for you to do something, rather than hoping for you.
In sickness and in health, I vow to tenderly care for you and to receive your care for me without fearing that I am a burden.
Could it be that all of the things we keep telling ourselves we need to do in order for our life to not be wasted are actually keeping us from the purpose for which we were created - to love and be loved by our Savior?
When Love first scooped up dust from the earth and breathed life into it — It knew full well the limitations of dust. But still, Love created something that It saw as worthy of love.
Performancism is a prison, and perfectionism robs you of nearly everything you value. But the vulnerability of embracing our imperfections and letting others see them opens the prison door and ushers us into the journey of freedom where we can begin to reclaim all that was stolen.
I have covid. On the way to the emergency room, I told God that if he healed me, I would tell the world my story. So here it is.
Christians, we’ve played a significant role in this oppression of God’s dearly beloved daughters and dearly beloved people of color, and used God and the Bible to justify these individual and systemic sins. We must re-examine the foundations of how we view humanity.
Mary did you know — or even have a thought — about all that would happen to you as a result of saying “yes” to God? Was it worth the shame of others spreading rumors and lies about the core of who you are? Was your “yes” worth all of this?
People often tell me they admire how I’m unashamedly my weird self and don’t care what others think of me. But if you could see into my mind, you’d see that it’s a constant fight. My counselor calls it a people-pleasing addiction.
If you feel surrounded as if arrows are pointed at you from all sides, remember who the enemy is, and who the enemy is not. As followers of Jesus, we are targets of the enemy. But Jesus stands and takes every arrow in our place. Let him.
What if, instead of still trying to pull myself up by my own bootstraps over and over and over again in an attempt to prove who I am to everyone (including myself) — what if I just admitted to Jesus I was powerless, and asked him for help?
It’s crazy how easily I forget that Jesus is in the boat with me - even through the countless times he’s stilled storms and calmed me, I find myself asking him again..
“Today is like all those times playing baseball in the backyard with your dad. That’s where you learned to fail and know that you’re still loved. That’s where you learned you can’t disappoint him. That’s where you learned to trust him, so that later on in life you could do those same things outside of the comfort of the backyard.”
Goal setting (insert eyeroll) : it’s like opportunities become a threatening giant and I feel smaller than David with what seems like even less faith than he had. The risk seems far too high for chasing dreams to actually be worth it.
I had never really considered myself an anxious person before, but one day I went on a walk with Jesus by a mountain stream. He told me he had a gift to give me. Curious, I asked what it was.
We were about to leave the coffeehouse when they came over to the table in front of our couch and asked if they could use it. “What are you guys planning to talk about?” *Looking back and forth at each other* “Witchcraft. We study it.”
Confession: I wasn’t excited about releasing my new EP until last night. My old friend comparison decided to pay a visit the past few weeks. Insecurity joined the party, and soon it was all-out chaos. What if I could return to that place when I was just a child, before comparison and insecurity had stolen my innocence?
I started running into this 60 year old man everywhere I went. It wasn’t just at the same place, or at the same time on the same day...it was random places at random times. And he wasn’t stalking me - he’d already be there, then I’d show up. So if anything, I was stalking him (but I wasn’t, I swear).
I used to think that it was selfish of God to demand our praise. But when my eyes are fixed on him, I forget about myself and my selfish desires, and I recognize him as the highest good and the source of all good. How is it selfish to point others to the source of all good?
I feel like I got hit by an 80,000 pound truck…oh wait. I did. It was 0% my fault, but my immediate reaction was shame. How could I have let this happen? What will people think of me? I felt paralyzed, trying to figure out what had just occurred, unwilling to believe what I didn’t want it to be.
Easter used to be my favorite day of the year. But somewhere along the lines, the magic of the special day lost its luster. The impossibility of the miracle became commonplace, and my awe disappeared.
On the second day of recording vocals, I ran away. I ran away because I kept hearing over and over, “You’re not good enough. No one will actually want to listen to your music. You think God would really call you to do this?”
Jesus didn’t have to stop on his way to see the dying twelve-year old daughter of the synagogue leader. The nameless woman with the twelve year bleeding problem had already been healed of her disease just by touching his garments. But I think Jesus knows that the healing she needs is far more than physical. She needs to know she is worth his time. She needs to know that her suffering matters to him.